I'm gonna sound like an alcoholic here. No way around it. I don't think I am, but others tell me that's up for debate.
Anyway, it's 5 days into lent, and I successfully got through the weekend without drinking or really being tempted to drink. And it was kind of amazing. It's great to wake up on a Saturday or Sunday without sleeping in because of your hangover. It was great to just get out of my house before noon, and do errands all day, rather than hiding in my apartment because I always feel crazy anxious the day after I've had a bit too much. That's actually a physical response rather than a mental one. It's the body trying to fight back against the sedative effects on the central nervous system caused by drinking, so it can cause a state of hyperactivity, causing nervousness for no reason. For once my broken brain isn't to blame!
Anyway, it was kinda tough on Friday and Saturday night, trying to figure out what in the hell I was gonna do with my evening if I couldn't get a little buzz on. It was especially harder after I got into a 'fight' with my ex. But I stuck to it and kept myself busy. I cooked, I knitted (for a project for my church and the Boston marathon), and I smoked. Yeah, I know...not the healthiest way for me to pass the time, but if I was giving up one vice I was gonna be damned if I had to give up another. I also ate ice cream. ICE CREAM! That's when I know I'm struggling. I only eat ice cream if I really, really feel the need to treat myself.
But hey, in the end, that's how you gotta do it. You have to treat yourself and be kind to yourself if you're trying to make a change, especially if it's not an easy one. It took me a long, long time to learn that lesson, because apparently I'm pretty thick.
And I feel great today. I feel less heavy and I didn't have any nervousness over the weekend, and that's a great way to be. I got a ton of things done and I have more energy to address the things I need to do this week (example: Taxes. ugh).