Focus on the bigger picture

I'm going on vacation next week. On a cruise. To Puerto Rico. I planned this vacation months and months ago, and I've been so stressed on getting into amazing shape and looking great that I couldn't get excited about the actual vacation. I had a goal to be 30 pounds lighter for this vacation than I actually am at the moment. And that was stressing me out so much that I almost forgot all about the actual vacation. 


As if people who are overweight can't have fun on a cruise. Ridiculous, right?

I'm getting healthy. I haven't been drinking very much at all, I've cut down on smoking a lot, I've been eating better and I haven't hurt myself in a week. Considering where I was 2 months ago, I did a 180 and I should be super proud of myself. And I am. I just need to stop focusing on my size and what I'm not 100% great at (i.e. cooking for myself and going to the gym regularly), and instead look at my accomplishments and being happy for myself.

So, I'm not at my ideal state. Who on earth is? I plan on enjoying the hell out of this vacation, having a ton of fun, and taking tons of pictures.

And I'm going to start by buying some fun clothes looking forward to a few days when I'm going to be in the sun, getting a tan, and rewarding myself for the amount of work I've put in to get myself to this place, and to forget about all the shit I've had to go through the past few years.